my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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