I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
NoShamevember. You game?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
