This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
