hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
