you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Randomize
