Don't you send me to vm
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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