i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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