i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
