I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
