I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
