I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
