covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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