Small penises have feelings too.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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