I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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