Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
