I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
