Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.