I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
