can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I don't deserve a penis
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
