I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
