youre lurking in front of me
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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