sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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