I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
