Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
What a dumb baby whore.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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