I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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