Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun