i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
