I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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