Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
i out mim tonsoeep
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
