In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
