oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
the raccoons are back...
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