we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize