Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
