the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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