The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
