Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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