they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I have post one night stand depression
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
