Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
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And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Can I color on your dick again?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
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He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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