I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
