I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Randomize
