things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
