Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
