Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
