Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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