I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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