his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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