he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
