It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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