I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize