The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
