Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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