Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
