We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
