so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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