I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks