Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.

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(859): I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more. http://tfl.nu/etjd

Replies (18) Good night (1124) Bad night (3414)
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(518): View more from New York

im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.

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(518): im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine. http://tfl.nu/cj5c

Replies (14) Good night (4639) Bad night (1274)
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(253): View more from Washington

Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....

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(253): Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined..... http://tfl.nu/yuuz

Replies (13) Good night (927) Bad night (4528)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.

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(908): My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated. http://tfl.nu/0c6p

Replies (15) Good night (1153) Bad night (4390)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.

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(336): I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math. http://tfl.nu/wo9g

Replies (11) Good night (2586) Bad night (888)
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(312): View more from Illinois

Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.

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(312): Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture. http://tfl.nu/p8k2

Replies (5) Good night (2910) Bad night (839)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt

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(828): You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt http://tfl.nu/0h7j

Replies (8) Good night (1097) Bad night (2868)
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(312): View more from Illinois

Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.

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(312): Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees. http://tfl.nu/fk9m

Replies (5) Good night (2512) Bad night (727)
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(251): View more from Alabama

I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.

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(251): I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer. http://tfl.nu/4bxr

Replies (14) Good night (2267) Bad night (972)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.

(701): View more from North Dakota

The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.

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(701): Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend. (701): The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer. http://tfl.nu/9cgs

Replies (7) Good night (2158) Bad night (959)
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(301): View more from Maryland

ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.

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(301): ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED. http://tfl.nu/hc30

Replies (7) Good night (985) Bad night (644)
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(734): View more from Michigan

I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.

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(734): I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony. http://tfl.nu/i9iy

Replies (3) Good night (1459) Bad night (735)
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(614): View more from Ohio

you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical

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(614): you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical http://tfl.nu/syu3

Replies (6) Good night (1579) Bad night (580)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.

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(413): She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list. http://tfl.nu/zy3q

Replies (5) Good night (570) Bad night (1153)
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(770): View more from Georgia

There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.

(404): View more from Georgia

My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.

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(770): There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese. (404): My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe. http://tfl.nu/muox

Replies (15) Good night (2970) Bad night (530)

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