I must be too annoying 4 u.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
