at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
