do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
