I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?