Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(704): View more from North Carolina

but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(704): but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn? http://tfl.nu/yhjz

Replies (16) Good night (5634) Bad night (733)
Favorite
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(814): We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad. http://tfl.nu/0kg4

Replies (82) Good night (30572) Bad night (2380)
Favorite
(516): View more from New York

She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(516): She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass http://tfl.nu/tdnt

Replies (18) Good night (7260) Bad night (1307)
Favorite
(702): View more from Nevada

I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(702): I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers. http://tfl.nu/kck1

Replies (6) Good night (2205) Bad night (1020)
Favorite
(480): View more from Arizona

this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(480): this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking. http://tfl.nu/0htm

Replies (7) Good night (4244) Bad night (1007)
Favorite
(903): View more from Texas

Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(903): Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive? http://tfl.nu/hm3a

Replies (2) Good night (2261) Bad night (807)
Favorite
(936): View more from Texas

I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(936): I swallowed for you. Answer the phone. http://tfl.nu/f04x

Replies (12) Good night (4196) Bad night (1456)
Favorite
(903): View more from Texas

True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(903): True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad. http://tfl.nu/idc2

Replies (6) Good night (790) Bad night (1678)
Favorite
(917): View more from New York City

sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.

(917): View more from New York City

that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(917): sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride. (917): that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks. http://tfl.nu/bp4f

Replies (3) Good night (1587) Bad night (527)
Favorite
(701): View more from North Dakota

He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(701): He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it http://tfl.nu/1dio

Replies (5) Good night (364) Bad night (881)
Favorite
(617): View more from Massachusetts

I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(617): I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat http://tfl.nu/ph0q

Replies (5) Good night (546) Bad night (292)
Favorite
(317): View more from Indiana

Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(317): Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help http://tfl.nu/67cm

Replies (1) Good night (588) Bad night (292)
Favorite
(530): View more from California

I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(530): I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them." http://tfl.nu/ps6s

Replies (1) Good night (348) Bad night (242)
Favorite
(212): View more from New York

Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(212): Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP http://tfl.nu/utcx

Replies (2) Good night (625) Bad night (236)
Favorite
(914): View more from New York

I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(914): I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero http://tfl.nu/isds

Replies (0) Good night (82) Bad night (49)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: