Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet