Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON! http://tfl.nu/qryp
  Replies (19) Good night (1478) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Wat???

  (312): View more from Illinois

  U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr (269): Wat??? (312): U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender http://tfl.nu/fak1
  Replies (4) Good night (954) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company. http://tfl.nu/8nsz
  Replies (7) Good night (1145) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant. http://tfl.nu/n66u
  Replies (46) Good night (786) Bad night (2151)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped. http://tfl.nu/0vpq
  Replies (5) Good night (3476) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth. http://tfl.nu/a6mm
  Replies (36) Good night (2681) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb. http://tfl.nu/zkca
  Replies (15) Good night (3115) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I mistook a propane tank for a keg.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I mistook a propane tank for a keg. http://tfl.nu/qvlo
  Replies (21) Good night (889) Bad night (10119)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America. http://tfl.nu/w2zj
  Replies (19) Good night (4262) Bad night (1253)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit. http://tfl.nu/vzj2
  Replies (12) Good night (5436) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis http://tfl.nu/fz5v
  Replies (6) Good night (5923) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes http://tfl.nu/a563
  Replies (18) Good night (3395) Bad night (1532)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  he's just a really huge penis that sells weed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): he's just a really huge penis that sells weed http://tfl.nu/ammy
  Replies (18) Good night (1644) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.

  (1-305): View more from Florida

  God Bless cinco de mayo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila. (1-305): God Bless cinco de mayo http://tfl.nu/78zu
  Replies (2) Good night (1166) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone http://tfl.nu/1xod
  Replies (6) Good night (595) Bad night (908)

Randomize