Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
