Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
