did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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