just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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