My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize