For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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