he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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