Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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