Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
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I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
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She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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