I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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