I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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