I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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