Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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