Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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