Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
