Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
